What Future?

I’ve been thinking about my future a whole lot the last few months. They’ve been hard months. I was having moments where I didn’t feel like dreaming for a future. All my goals and the calling God placed in my heart have felt dull. For my whole life, I couldn’t wait till the moment I stood on stage being presented as a missionary and looking to the crowd to see my mom and that beaming smile she always had. I wanted to see her proud tears as she watched me finally walking in my calling. But now, even colors seem dull and the fire in my heart feels like it’s being snuffed out. Of course I know that it was God that placed that calling in my life, but the loss of my mom impacted me in a way I never thought it would. If you know me, you know how passionate I am about going to Africa and impact a generation. It’s defined who I am. But for a time, I could literally feel that fire going out. The fire of dreaming, the fire of hoping, the fire of living. With my mom gone I saw no point in anything anymore. Many times, I didn’t look forward to a tomorrow. I could care less if tomorrow came.

Maybe you’re not walking through the death of a family member, but you see the state our world is in and wonder if there is even a future to dream about. You’re oppressed by life and it’s hard to hope for more than what you’re seeing in front of you. Chaos is wreaking havoc in our world and it looks like the world’s ending.

But God sees you. He understands what you are going through and He has a purpose, even if you don’t understand that purpose. You just can’t give up. I can’t give up and let those dark moments consume me. People are what have helped me. About a month ago, someone tried to discourage me completely; at my most vulnerable moment; or…. one of my many vulnerable moments. Almost immediately after though; a handful of people approached me and spoke life back into my dreams. With specific words or notes of encouragement. Random people who typically don’t reach out as often but said what I needed to hear back to back to back. Almost like if God whispered in their ears that there was something He needed to say to me about my calling. Most of them have never even really talked to me about my calling but decided to encourage me out of the blue. A written card, a phone call, a text, a message, each one of them telling me to continue my pursuit and journey to Africa. Without even knowing the internal struggle I was dealing with.

Yes, God said to live life as if Christ is returning tomorrow. So then what’s the point of planning for tomorrow? Well, I say that we should live for today in a way that it will impact our tomorrow. Even if that simply means staying alive.

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."